2piider2tuck
by Sarlona
Summary: It started with Sollux falling for Vriska and soon spiraled into some of the strangest redroms Karkat had ever seen. He couldn't complain though; Feferi was a pretty awesome catch. Rated T for swearing, implied activities, and some sloppy alien makeouts. Sollux/Vriska, Karkat/Feferi, Roboradia/Gamzee, Tavros/Nepeta, Equius/Terezi. We went for all the weird pairings we could.


I was in my room when Vriska came striding in. I had no idea how she had gotten the security codes to get past the seven proxy walls, but I had an idea it had occurred via Nepeta. I had given them to her a while back; she had probably just given them when asked. Damn catgirl.

Vriska gave a cocky grin as she plopped down on his couch, "Hey Sollux."

"Vrithka, what the hell are you doing here?"

"I just figured we could talk," she waved her hand nonchalantly, "nobody else seems to want to spend any time with me."

"Ith it any wonder?"

She gave him a glare, "I found Dave and punished him for that damned temporal loop."

"How did you find him?"

"I asked John. He told me."

"I thee."

"Aren't you blind?"

I glared at her. I hadn't been blind since we had found that strange gem. It had caused a mysterious reset of all of us. Those of us who were dead anytime after the game were brought back. Any damage done after the game was reversed. Everyone except Aradia was alive; things like my blindness were reversed, but Tavros's legs and Terezi's blindness were not.

However, there was a downside. Any God Tiers who had been reached were reversed. Of course, this only affected Vriska and Aradia, but it was still a blow to our power levels. Equius had made Aradia another soulbot, so at least we didn't have any ghosts floating around.

"You jutht had to go there, didn't you!?"

"But of course. It was one of the few things on this asteroid that _wasn't _my fault!" The cheer in her voice was a tad sickening.

"Ith that a confethion? Pothibly followed by an _apology?_"

"No, that's me saying there was a perk to Eridan going shithive maggots; it wasn't my fault!" She had a point.

"I am tho going round two with that motherfucker next time I thee him!" I was annoyed with myself for losing to that finny asshole.

Vriska gave me a confused look, "Kanaya already chainsawed him again in return for destroying the Matriorb."

"I know. I wath there."

"No, I think you were downstairs trying to get your teeth knocked out again. Which you couldn't," She paused, "Or maybe I was just to stuck in my flushed feelings to notice you."

This intrigued me, "Fluthed thoughths? You?! Ath in, like, actual emotionths!?"

She glared at me and looked pissed, "I show plenty of emotion, you poker-faced bulgelicker!"

Score.

I decided to keep poking the bear, "Riiiiiiiight. Who wath the subject of your "affectionth" thith time?"

She blushed faintly azure, "Kanaya looked pretty hot when she chainsawed Eridan. Plus, she clocked me pretty hard. That has to count for _something._"

This was gold, "Cruthing on the fathion queen? Well care to know a thecret? Wanna know why the hateth the dreth the made for you?"

She rolled her eyes, "Is it because I used it on Tavros? Yes, it was horrible. Banging my head against the wall. Bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang!" Sarcasm laced her voice.

Vriska; Queen of the Dense, "Dumbath, the thaw you uthe it on thomeone other than HER."

I had almost never seen that many emotions go across a face that quickly. The first was a blank look as she processed that. The second of a short period of shock. The final one was abject horror as she realized the implications, "…She was flushed for me, wasn't she?"

Yep. Still dense, "DUH. You have thome theriouth damage control to do, thpiderbitch."

She slowly looked down at her lap, a long silence going through the room, "…Yeah. I guess I do."

I rolled my eyes, "Then what are you doing thill talking to me? Get a move on!"

She stood up and left. I sighed in relief. Maybe now I could finally get some work done.

Roughly fifteen minutes later, Vriska came stumbling back in, looking shocked and upset. It startled me, because that was such an unusual expression for the manipulating spider.

The next question came completely out of the blue, "Hey, Sollux? Do you know if alcohol works on us?"

"I'm… Guething it didn't go tho well."

She tried to dodge the question, "No. Now does human alcohol work, or do I have to alchemize my own?"

"What happened?"

"I walked in at the wrong moment," I cocked my head to the side, because that wasn't really much of a response, "I have a question for you now, when did you become my Moirail?"

I shrugged, deciding to reveal what I had been musing on Vriska, "Juth trying to help a troll in need. Pluth, I'm giving thith whole "forgivneth" thing a try. AA woulda liked that."

Vriska sighed and slumped forward, "If you can give the forgiveness thing a try… Then I suppose I could give this "apology" thing a try. I'm sorry for screwing you guys over repeatedly."

I paused. Yep, that was a Vriska apology, "Apology… Accepted?" I went back on topic, "Tho now, tell me what went wrong?"

She looked almost uncomfortable, "Were you aware that her and the Rose human are together? Because I didn't know until roughly ten minutes ago."

My eyes widened. Crap. I didn't know that, "Oh thit, theriothly? Didn't thee that coming…"

Vriska gave a laugh that was almost bitter, "Yeah, and guess what blue blood walked in them-"

I began to pace. I didn't need to hear the rest of that sentence to get it, so I derailed that, "If it maketh you feel any better, I've had my fair thare of 'what-the-fuck' momenth too. Like the whole Aradia coming back and falling for Zahhak? Total thit thorm. Jutht when you think you've found it, it dithappearth…" I realized I was babbling, "Thit, I'm thuppothed to be cheering you up!"

Vriska shook her head, tears welling in yellow eyes, "I think the time for that is gone…" The tears began to run down her cheeks, and she ran her fingers over her cheeks before staring in a shocked manner at the blue on her fingers, "Sollux… Are my eyes supposed to be leaking…?"

I was a tad shocked that she didn't know much about crying, "Um, yeah, it'th a natural um… Rethponth? Gog, I thuck at thith whole contholing thing!" I banged my head against the nearby wall.

She shook her head, looking miserable, "No, really, you're doing fine. In fact, I think I remember what it's called. I was never allowed to cry on Alternia. It upset my lusus," She began curiously looking through my cabinets.

I found myself thinking about how much that explained, "It'th alright. I cried for a week when Ara-" I corrected myself, "When it happened. It jutht meanth you're thad."

She gave a small, tearful smile and wiped at her eyes, "Thanks, it's kinda good to know that's normal. I grew up a tad… Lopsided, in certain respects."

I knew a bit about how she grew up, mostly about how she fed trolls to her lusus, "Yeah, I's gueth that mutht have been difficult all thoth yearth. My luthuth wath alwayth there for me… Thomething I took for granted," I realized something, "Wait, ith thith turning into a feelingth talk? Latht one I had didn't end very well!"

Vriska rolled her eyes, smiling a bit, "Hey, Mr. Crazy Ass 'Scientist' isn't here right now. It's just you, me, and a bottle of vodka I found," She held up the bottle; I forgot I had that, "I'm still wondering on whether or not it's safe."

I smiled a bit, to my surprise, as I realized something, "Eh, I gueth you're right. Oh, and to anther your earlier quethion… Yeth. I may ath well be your Moirail now. Deal with it." I realized that this may be exactly what she needs; someone to keep her under control.

She returned the small smile, "So, I may easily assume that you will not permit me to get roaringly drunk?"

That mental image was a tad unsettling, "Correct. Raoringly drunk ith out of the quethion," I took my glasses off, "However… Emotional thate conthidered, I thuppothe lightly buzzed could be allowed," She looked pleased, and I decided to make a few conditions, "If the moirail in quethion promitheth to behave during permitted drinking , and promitheth not to do anything outrageouthly thupid and/or dethructive."

She grinned and nodded. She grabbed a Styrofoam cup nearby and poured in some of the vodka. She sat down and took a drink, slowly relaxing, "So, what IS the difference between Alternian alcohol and human alcohol?"

I shrugged, "Fuck if I know. I haven't really thpent much time with the humanth."

Vriska shrugged and took a short drink, "Well, I guess we'll find out, at least a little bit. For something that looks like simple water, this is pretty damn potent."

I cocked my head to the side, "I'm kinda curiouth, whath it feel like?"

She seemed to think on that a bit, "Tingly… Warm… Pretty relaxing. How about you try a bit?" She offered the bottle.

I found the offer too tempting to resist, because I was curious now, "I could point out that one of uth thould thay coherent, but honethly I wath about to anywayth."

She took off her coat, revealing the bits that attached the robotics to her torso, "That's the spirit!" She draped the coat over the arm of the chair.

I took the second bottle out of the cabinet, opening it and taking a swig. I immediately felt my vision skew, "Damn, you're right!"

She gave a confident grin, "Aren't I always?" She paused, "Forget I said that…"

"Conthider it done."

She chuckled and smirked before looking down blankly at her glass, "My glass is empty. Maybe that's good… I feel kinda fuzzy now," She looked a little tired. Relaxed, but tired.

"Betht catch thome thleep, Vrithka, you're looking kinda…" The thought suddenly got away from me. I sat down in my office chair.

"Kinda what?"

"I dunno, jutht… Are you feeling okay?"

She grinned widely, revealing bone-white fangs, "Yeah, better than I have in sweeps…"

I swear I felt myself blushing, "That'th good… Why are you thmiling like that?"

A laugh escaped her lips, "Because I feel great! I feel really great!"

I wasn't sure if I should be unnerved or not, "Thatth, um… Good?" I set down my bottle.

She seemed to notice, "What's wrong?"

"What? Nothing."

She blinked a bit and yawned, "You seem a tad off…"

"Yeah, uh, thure…" I wondered what was in that stuff.

Vriska stared at the bottle in amusement, "I wonder if Karkat would loosen the hell up if we gave this to him…"

I finally relaxed a bit, "Nah, KK'th jutht like that, probably in hith DNA or thomethin'. He doeth it in hith thleep too."

She nodded a bit, "I noticed that while I was making the plans… All the planth!" She gave a silly grin, looking a tad adorable.

"Hehe, yeah, it'th kinda funny…"

"I'm surprised he hasn't busted anything yet… Hey, do you know what his blood color is? He won't tell me…"

"I know, but… I'm not thure if I thould tell you…" She looked a tad put out, but was unable to focus long enough to be truly upset, "I thuppothe it couldn't hurt to tell you…" It was getting hard to focus.

"'Course not, I may not even remember this…"

"Candy red…"

She thought on that for a minute, "Interesting… You look sleepy…" She noticed that? She perked up, "We should play tag!"

I was confused at that and jolted my head up, "What, what?"

"Tag, that one game, it could help you wake up," She smiled.

I cocked an eyebrow, "You thure you're in any condition to play a game…?"

"Guess we won't know until we find out?" She grinned.

I could see the fuzzy logic in this, "Very well…" I swayed up and tagged her on the head before sprinting off. I heard her laugh. I was surprised that I could run this fast with the room spinning like this. I entered the kitchen, where Karkat grabbed my wrist and tried to ask me something. I broke free and headed towards the labs, "Can't talk now KK, gotta go, catch up with you later!"

I went into the lab and hid behind a containment tube with a behemoth in it. Vriska caught up, panting and flushed blue with exertion. She looked around, obviously having trouble focusing, "No fair…" I snuck around her and lunged, tickling her sides before running off. She shrieked and ran after me, "That's playing dirty, Captor!"

I just gave a lisping laugh and ran down one of the smaller hallways. In my dizzy state, I soon realized that she wasn't following. I stopped in my tracks, "Vrithka?" There was no response. I began to go back the way I came, "Vrithka? KK? Anybody?" I heard a bang and a soft swear from the nearby closet. I rushed over and threw open the door.

Vriska was sitting there, rubbing her head and looking up at me, her damaged eye exposed, "I meant to hide and get you… And then I fell asleep."

I felt myself sigh with relief. At least she was safe, "Yeah, c'mon, I think thath enough tag for one day."

I helped her up, only to lurch and stumble myself. I felt her steady me, "Let's go to your room… I'm not sure if I could make it to mine."

We didn't pass anyone as we stumbled back to my room.

When we got in, Vriska went over to the couch and collapsed upon it, "Night Sol'…" She was out like a light. I retrieved a blanket from the chest at the foot of my recouperacoon and covered her up with it. She cuddled into it and purred.

"Night, Vrithka."

I awoke to a serious headache, the likes of which I hadn't had since my last major excursion with mind honey. I could hear a faint retching from the bathroom, and I knew it was because Vriska had drunk more than me. At least my head is clear now.

I stumbled into the bathroom, clutching my head and muttering lisped swears. I came across Vriska rather violently retching, "Hey… Hey Vrithk-" The pounding in my head returned full force. She just nodded a bit to show she understood. Her coat and glasses were gone, and her hair was stuck to her face with sweat. It was more than a little sad to see her like this.

I squeezed her shoulder, waiting for her to get finished. Finally, the sound of only panting was in the room. She began to get up. I went and got her jacket from my room. When I got back, she was rinsing her mouth out. Vriska looked up into the mirror and put a hand over her left eye, "I feel like crap."

Understatement of the century.

I put the jacket over her shoulders, feeling strangely guilty, "I blame mythelf. I let you do it."

Vriska slowly dropped her hand from her eye to clutch at her jacket, "We didn't know how the alcohol would affect us. Either of us. I probably should have been smarter about how much I drank at once."

I shrugged, "Either way, I vote we never do that again."

She gave a small smile, "Maybe. Can I stay in here for a bit? I don't feel much like running into anyone else."

I returned the smile, "Thure. What are Moirailth for?"

"Helping me find my glasses," She joked.

We spent the next hour looking in my room. Vriska's panic increased with every passing minute. I knew how self-conscious she was about the scars around her eyes. She felt she would be mocked if anyone else saw them. I felt really bad right then, remembering the jabs I had thrown at her.

"They must have fallen off when we came back."

"Well, where did we go latht night? Can't be that many placeth."

She wracked her memory, "We went to the lab… The kitchen… And maybe one of the hallways branching off from there…"

"Alright, tho, I lotht track of you after the lab, and I don't remember you having them on when we got back to the room… That clothet, maybe?"

Vriska nodded and grabbed a comb, combing her hair over her eye, "Okay then… That works for now."

I winced, "If you want, I could go get them and bring them back here?"

She looked hopeful and touched, "Please?"

I grinned, "No problem. Thay put, I'll be right back," I gave her a quick pat on the shoulder and left the room.

I was retracing my steps when I was suddenly stopped by Karkat. He had a very serious look on his face, more serious than angry, "I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU," The fact that Karkat's volume control was lacking did not assist my headache.

Although I was confused.

"Uh, thure, what? Make it quick, I'm buthy with thomething."

"WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT? AND DON'T SAY NOTHING, BECAUSE YOU DON'T BUDDY UP WITH ANYONE, MUCH LESS SPIDERBITCH OF ALL PEOPLE," Oh. So that's what this is about.

I thought for a minute on the best way to put this, "Ummm… Tag and glatheth. (glasses) And vomit."

Karkat seemed a little put-out with my non-answer, "I'VE NEVER SEEN SPIDERBITCH THAT PLEASED BEFORE."

"Yeth, actually, we had fun and no one wath injured."

He nodded, "BE CAREFUL, OKAY? LET'S TRY AND KEEP IT THAT WAY."

Okay, this was starting to piss me off.

"Oh my Gog, KK, are you actually worried about me?"

He gave me another long, serious look, "YES. BECAUSE I CAN'T LOSE SOMEONE ELSE, AND EVERYONE HERE KNOWS THAT VRISKA IS HARMLESSLY CRAZY AT HER BEST AND TERRIFYINGLY DANGEROUS AT HER WORST."

The smile I gave him was strained, "I'll keep that in mind. Anything elthe? I'm kind of in a hurry."

Karkat nodded and waved me away, "THAT'S ALL I'M ASKING. THANKS, YOU CAN GO. THE OTHERS ARE WORRIED TOO THOUGH."

I continued down the hall, ignoring the last worried look he gave me.

When I returned with the glasses I had found in the closet, Vriska looked much better. The snarls were out of her hair, and she was reapplying her lipstick, "Hey, you're looking better. And I found your glatheth. Double good newth!" I grinned and handed them to her.

She inspected them before putting them on. She then locked eyes with me, "You look kinda upset. What's wrong?"

"KK. He thaid thome thingth. Nothing to worry about," I couldn't look her in the eyes as I lied.

She smiled anyways, "Thank you. I'm glad I didn't have to go out."

"No problem," I grinned and put away the extra blanket she had slept with last night. I noticed that she seemed to be debating something with herself, "Hey, thomething up?" Her arms wrapped around me, smelling of metal and arachnids. I hesitated, then returned the embrace.

"Thank you for last night. I may not be able to look Kanaya in the eyes, but it's better than punching her in the face.

I felt myself smile, "Don't mention it. I'm jutht thorry I put you through all of that."

She shrugged and released me, "I would have found out eventually, through you or not. This brought us closer. Also, I have someone who will listen to me."

"Yeah, well, if nothing elthe, you do have me," I couldn't help but wonder why everyone was so afraid of her. She almost seemed to adapt to her environment. Show her hatred and fear, she responded with hatred and rage. Show her companionship… She could be almost nice at times.

I walked over to the door, "I'm going to get thomething to eat, want to come with?"

She nodded, "Something light. I don't want to upset my stomach."

I smiled as we walked to the kitchen. Nepeta and Equius were sitting there, deep in conversation. Nepeta tilted her head at us. Equius' eyebrows slowly raised, looking between us as if trying to figure out how many shades of sexual tension he could imagine in the air between us.

I went to the table and sat down, while Vriska headed to the alchemy set to fix something, "Hey guyth," A yawn escaped and my stomach growled.

Vriska came over with a bowl of plain oatmeal. She gave a devilish grin, "I'll need to change after this. Last night made me all sweaty."

I caught on to what she meant as I saw Equius' mind go six ways to next sweep. I decided to play along, "Yeah, but it wath admittedly one amathing night. What I can remember from it."

Nepeta's shipper brain was beginning to kick into gear, "Huh?"

"It kinda sucked that you were faster than me."

I spotted Equius' eye twitch. We were on a roll, "Yeah, I had no idea you could thqueak like that!"

"I didn't either! And thanks for covering me up afterwords."

I heard a small, "Oh my…" From Nepeta as Equius began to sputter.

"Leatht I could do after wearing you out like that."

Equius and Nepeta was blushing hard by now, "Nepeta… We have something to do. Something that _isn't here."_

"I second that!

With that, the two blushing moirails ran from the room. Vriska and I looked at each other for about three seconds before bursting into peals of laughter. She held up her hand for a high five, "That was awesome, thanks for playing along!"

I gave her a high five, "Betht part ith, we didn't even lie!"

"We were just very, very vague."

"What'th tho bad about not giving any detailth?"

"Absolutely nothing!" She responded, with a gleeful smirk.

About thirty minutes passed, discussing mundane things. After a while, Vriska finished her food and went to go change. I heard an alarmed yelp and was immediately on my feet, ignoring the renewed pounding in my head. Rage clouded my vision as I saw a struggling Vriska being held up by the front of her shirt by Karkat. Karkat's candy-colored scythe was against her neck, "KK, what the fuck do you think you're doing?!"

He dropped her, "NEPETA, KANAYA, AND EQUIUS TOLD ME THAT YOU TWO WERE TOGETHER NOW. SHE'S PROBABLY MIND CONTROLLING YOU!"

"I am not!" Vriska yelled indignantly. I was wondering where the hell he got these ideas when Vriska saved Karkat's ass. She approached me and began shooshpapping me, "Shoosh, I'm okay…"

I calmed down a little knowing she was okay, "KK… What… The… Hell… Ith… Wrong with you? It'th not enough for Gamzee to attack uth, now you two?"

"I THINK SHE'S MIND CONTROLLING YOU. WHY ELSE WOULD YOU FILL BUCKETS WITH THE SPIDERBITCH THAT MADE YOU KILL ARADIA!?"

I could sense Vriska start to bristle until she saw me. She reached for me, obviously afraid I'd lash out. I was pissed enough that I may have, "I'm outta here."

I turned and walked away. I heard the crack of bone, and Vriska ask in a low, furious voice, "Are you happy now?"

I came out later that night. Everyone was at dinner except Vriska; she wasn't answering her Trollian either. I decided to check up on her. I knocked on her door. The door opened a little bit and a blue eye examined me before letting me in. Most of her stuff was on the ground, some of it in shards and pieces. I sympathized, because my room didn't look any better.

"Hey…" Her voice was low and hoarse.

"Hey… You weren't at dinner. I got worried."

"At least someone did," Her smile was bitter, "I think I may have broken Karkat's jaw," She began to clear a path towards the plush blue couch.

"Yeah, you did. You're thtrong."

"It's the bionics."

"Oh well. Kanaya'th doin' her Thylph of Thpace thing. He'll be fine."

She scanned the room, "I guess he's lucky I didn't do worse."

"Had I thayed there any longer, I would have," My fists clenched, "It wath wrong of him to thay thoth thingth to you," For some inexplicably reason, yellow tears built in my eyes as I turned to her.

She hugged me, papping my cheek, "I was expecting this," She confessed, "I have a lot to make up for. You probably should hate me too, by all rights," She stroked my hair, drawing me closer and pulling off both of our glasses, "Shoosh… C'mon, it's okay to cry… I did last night."

My voice choked, "You knew what you were thad about," My shoulders shook with sobs, and it felt good to have someone to hold me, "I-I don't even know why I'm crying!"

"Maybe you'll feel better anyways?" She pulled me onto her lap, not minding as I cried into her shirt. She was still gently shoosh papping me.

"Why do I alwayth dethroy what I care about… Aradia… Feferi… Even my own luthuth…"

Her next words were soft and determined, "You still have me, and I'm too stubborn to die; it means you're stuck!" She gave a small, encouraging grin.

"Yeah… I'm 2piider2tuck."

A dark blue blush etched its way onto her cheeks, "You mean that?"

I nodded and kissed her on the cheek before jerking backwards, "Thorry!" I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks. I got up to leave, and then an iron grip closed about my wrist.

"Stay, will you?"

I was shocked, and then I grinned, "Okay," Was all I could summon up,

She gave her mischievous smirk, "I guess I caught you in my web."

I smirked back, "And what do you do to your prey?"

"Wanna find out?"

I woke before Vriska in the recouperacoon. I scanned the room until my eyes fell upon Vriska, sleeping contentedly. We no longer had any sopor slime, but the familiar shape felt more at home than the beds the humans had tried to get us to try.

The peace was shattered by an incredibly frantic and violent banging. I hoped it wasn't who I thought it was. Dear Gog, let it not be-

"GUYS, WE HEARD SOME WEIRD NOISES LAST NIGHT…"

Son of a bitch.

Vriska's eyes snapped open with a growl. My head fell back into the cocoon with a groan.

"SOLLUX!? IS THAT YOU? SOLLUX, DON'T WORRY, I'LL GET YOU OUT OF THERE, JUST HANG IN THERE!"

Vriska began to get up, bristling with fury at being interrupted. I placed a hand on her shoulder and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, "Jutht ignore him."

"It's really hard when he's about to break down my door…" Her eyes were shimmering blue. We heard Karkat bellowing for Equius. Vriska groaned, "Okay, this needs to stop sometime yesterday," She emerged from the recouperacoon and put on a black robe with her symbol on the chest.

Karkat was just ordering Equius to break down the door when Vriska opened it, "Should I _ask _about what the hell is wrong with you to be bothering us at this time, or is there just no clinical term for it?"

I joined her in my boxers, "Theriouthly guyth? Theriouthly!?"

"SOLLUX WHAT THE FUCK!?"

"The fuck is exactly what happened. Now would you mind not telling the whole asteroid?"

"And thop thouting, ith too damn early!"

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, SOLLUX?! I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT BE IN DANGER!"

"Other than thome bite markth and a Vantath induced headache, I'm great."

Vriska finished the confrontation with, "We've already told you what's wrong. You're. Still. Here," And with that, the sassy spiderbitch shut the door on his face.

She growled as I rubbed her back, "I'm gonna break all of his romcoms in half one of these days…"

"Dethpite him watching that thit pretty much every day, he ith theriouthly thlow on the uptake."

Vriska sighed, "Let's go back to the 'coon, even if we don't sleep. I hate mornings."

And so the wayward pair spent the rest of the day, drinking in each other's company, in a world all their own, where everyone, no matter what, is forgiven.

_Author's Notes:_

_This is not the end. We have several more chapters planned out after this. This is mostly composed of romance of all kinds. If you could stomach this pair, you're probably good._

_This was based off an RP with a friend of mine. We both enjoy Homestuck to the point of obsession and though that this would be a good idea. Blame the corny last sentence on him._

_I also thought that although I typed out Sollux's lisp, typing out the name in his print seemed to make an impact._

_Remember: We have all the Vrisklux. All of iit._


End file.
